This is an email written by a Manager to the Business Head. In the
organisation structure, the Manager reports to a Senior Manager, who reports to
a Deputy General Manager, who reports to the Business Head. Hence, an email written to a person three levels above in the hierarchy.
Quote
Hi
Below mentioned is the headset that has to be procured for
my TL's, they need this headset to listen to recorded calls
MODEL Price per
piece headset
Required Total cost
Logitech Rs.
950/- plus taxes 3
nos 2850/-
Kindly approve the same.
Many Thanks
AWL
AWL
Unquote
Ignoring the grammatical issues in the email, what do you think will be done with this email and its writer :- It will be circulated across the organisation as an example of a great email
- It will be printed and hung at the entrance to show visitors the great quality of emails written by employees ?
- Its writer will be recommended for the Nobel Prize in Literature
- Its writer will be requested by the Business Head to swap roles with him
- None of the above
Ignoring the grammatical issues in the email, what do you think about the construction of the mail, the message it conveys and possible responses :
- The Business Head will drop everything else and read this mail over and over again
- The Business Head will pinch himself to check if he is asleep or awake
- The Business Head will order a year's supplies of the requested items
- The Business Head will burst into tears at the high level of respect shown in the email
- None of the above
How would you write it ?
Well ignoring the grammar, this email does make it quite clear that i need to approve or deny the purchase of the headset. Assuming i am the Business head.
ReplyDeleteI would also look to see if the mail was copied to his boss, such that the boss is kept informed.
I would approve or disapprove depending on budgets etc.
I am happy to see that he has come straight to the approving authority.
I would have been happier if he had mentioned that he has taken the consent of his seniors who are marked in the mail.
Thats it i assume and take a decision accordingly
Firstly, as you rightly point out, the writer needs to be praised for writing to a person several levels above in the hierarchy, for a business requirement. It requires commitment and courage.
ReplyDeleteThat having been said, the following may be opportunities for improvement :
- he should have tried to talk to the Business Head (BH) BEFORE sending an email so tht the BH was aware of the background. After all, he may be managing may people and teams and may not be aware of intricate details of a particular transaction.
- if he was unable (or unwilling) to talk to the BH, he should have given a background of the transaction and why it had to be done and why it could not wait.
- a copy of the mail should als be marked to his supervisor (as you have also suggested) so that he is not caught off guard if the BH later asks him about it.
- an indication of clearance from the "procurement team" would be helpful; nobody wants to be questioned about approving expenses without following process.
- and, of course, unless the mail is intended to be firm and admonitory, it does not hurt to use a soft tone which, in many cases, might also come with experience.
Of course, different things work for different people.